In the 1980s, Eddie Murphy was one of the biggest comedic stars on the planet. But recently, he's become comedy's Paris Hilton, willing to do anything for a paycheck. His recent movie Imagine That was his second consecutive film to open with a box office cume of under $6 million, a clear sign that it's time for Murphy to take action if he wants to revive his career. First step: stop making stupid decisions. Here are 9 mistakes - both personal and professional - that Eddie could have done without.
To go from being Oscar-nominated (for Dreamgirls) to winning a Razzie the next year is never a good sign, but what did Eddie Murphy expect? When critics are complaining that the movie you just made isn't even as good as Big Momma's House, it might be time to rethink the people who are approving scripts for you.
Guess what movie nobody wants to see? The futuristic-outer space version of Roadhouse minus ass-kicking Patrick Swayze, and turned into a "comedy." Probably should have thought that one over before going ahead and making the film studio shell out $95 million dollars. Whoops. There goes $95 million dollars.
It's like somebody got a Daily Inspirations calendar for Christmas and decided to turn it into a movie, starring Jeff Goldblum and Eddie Murphy. With a Home Shopping Network twist. Why, God, why?
The first Nutty Professor was when Eddie Murphy realized he could make a metric butt-ton of money by wearing a fat suit. The sequel was when he tried it again, and stands as proof that Eddie Murphy's manager doesn't care if the biggest laugh in the movie is a man getting sodomized by an overgrown hamster... as long as he gets his percentage. Seriously. Giant hamster sodomy. It happened.
In and of itself there's nothing wrong with Coming to America. It was, however, the first time Eddie Murphy played numerous characters in the same movie, and it was incidentally also the last time it was even remotely funny (maybe Nutty Professor excluded). Thanks to the guy who told him that was a good idea. Watch your back in a dark alley. That's all.
Were Raw and Delirious hilarious? Undoubtedly. But those two brightly colored leather suits were the first sign that somebody behind the scenes was maybe not telling Eddie Murphy when things were a muck. Like somebody probably should have told him "Hey Eddie, those red-orange leather pants are making you walk like somebody's squeezing your nuts in a very bad way. It's weird, and three years from now people are going to be laughing at you, not with you."
Okay, so "Party All The Time" isn't the worst song ever. In fact, there are some people who will actually admit to liking it without drinking an entire bottle of raspberry-flavored vodka first. But "Put Your Mouth On Me"? Freakin' "Whatzupwitu"? Not even MJ could save that piece o' garbage. What did Dave Chappelle say? "All comedians want to be musicians." Well, unless you're Zach Galifianakis or Tenacious D, please don't. Just stick to what you know. Which, in Eddie Murphy's case, seems to be fart jokes and teasing the morbidly obese.
Has anyone in the history of time ever seen a black guy with a mullet...aside from in this movie? Does Eddie Murphy look at this framed movie poster in his den and just smack himself in the head over and over and over again? Because he should.
Not only did he think it was a good idea to pick up a tranny prostitute in the middle of the night in a district that is known for its illegal (and very gay) activity - but Murphy then decided that his best defense was to say that he simply likes helping out hookers (who doesn't?). "It's not the first hooker I've helped out," said Murphy. "I've seen hookers on corners... and I'll pull over... and they'll go, 'Oh you're Eddie Murphy, oh my God,' and I'll empty my wallet out to help." Yeah, and then they help you out a little, right?
