9 Superheroes Too Lame For Their Own Movie

Micro Lad is a giant whose super power is that he can shrink. He started out as a normal size person, but when his hometown was invaded by Brainiac, they were all mutated into giants. The giants stayed in this town to avoid squishing anyone. Micro Lad is able to leave the city because of his unique ability to shrink. Another thing that will shrink? The wallets of anyone who produces this movie.

First off, Husk is an awful name for a superhero. It sounds like something dry heaved onto the page of a writer out of ideas. Making matters lamer, her super power is that (you guessed it) she can shed her skin. She changes into things such as stone, steel, and rubber, alongside increases in strength, durability, and speed. Her transformations last an hour, after which the new material sheds to reveal normal skin. It could be worse, though - she could eat her old skin like some weird lizard woman.

Kick-Ass has a great name, but not all great names come with great super powers. Or any super powers. That's right, Kick-Ass has no super powers. None. What he does have is a wet suit that he decided to wear. Then he walked outside and decided to help people. On his first attempt, he got his ass kicked and proceeded to be hit by a car and taken to the hospital. So basically he's just a normal guy in a wetsuit. He’s like a sad, powerless, Spiderman or Tobey McGuire in real life, if you will.

UPDATE: Thanks to a tip from one of our readers, we were informed that a Kick-Ass movie is indeed in the works starring Nicholas Cage, McLovin', and newcomer Aaron Johnson in the title role. If you are interested, you can check out a screening at this year's Comic-Con.

Namorita possesses superhuman strength, speed, durability, agility, and reflexes - she can lift up to 75 tons underwater, although extended surface activity can reduce her strength. She can survive underwater indefinitely and has special vision to see under there. So, basically she is a super mermaid. Unless that’s your fetish (no judgments here), I’d say most of you would pass on a movie version.

This is just pure laziness. Basically, Saquatch = Big Foot. He starts off as human, and then changes into a big hairy beast. His only superpowers are that he is highly agile and able to jump great distances. He also can’t get hurt that easily. Awesome. Moving on…

Sobek possesses the ability to produce a widespread wave of intense hunger. Yet this hunger seemed to affect him, as well. Exactly how is that a super power? Everyone just gets hungry, stops fighting and grabs a burger? Sobek also has a powerful jaw capable of biting a human in half. Not really worthy of an entire movie, but maybe he could get a gig as the new Burger King spokesperson.

Atom girl is a normal size person who can shrink down to the size of an atom. It’s like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids except as a superhero. We’ll only be OK with this if they sign on Rick Moranis to dress in drag.

Bomb Queen has expertise in explosive devices, as well as gymnastic and fighting skills, which would be great if all you wanted was to see Shawn Johnson blow sh*t up. In an odd twist, Bomb Queen also appeared in several pornographic films. Okay, on second thought maybe we’d see this one in the theater.

Forge is a mutant whose instinctive mechanical vision interprets the functions and operations of any machine, a skill that combined with his natural intelligence allows him to conceive, design and build his own mechanical devices. So he is basically a really smart engineer. We'd call him lame, but he did bone Storm. An impressive feat, but not worthy of a movie.