Angelina told press she’s happy. Well, I sure as hell hope so. If that bitch isn’t happy, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Listening to Bono talk about himself makes me want to hear Sting talk about yoga.

That’s right, Kal Penn, whose character on the hit show House just committed suicide, is going to work for Obama. In related news, the gay dude from Grey Anatomy is going to work for Barney Frank.

America’s favorite pastime has become watching reality stars dance. Seriously, is there anything the terrorists can do to us that we haven’t done to ourselves?

Kelly was out and about with her fiancée, Luke Worrall, last night. Yes, there’s a guy out there who looks at Kelly Osbourne and thinks, “I gotta marry that.”

The Ronsons are seeking a restraining order against Lindsay. Which means they’ll be back together by Thursday.

Her latest look is part Egyptian, part retard.

Fishnets, knee boots, a biker jacket… If more Catholic girls dressed like this, maybe the priests would lose their interest in boys.